Two weekends ago we were visiting friends at their home in a nearby state and happened to go to Home Depot for supplies for the projects the men were working on. The supply run has turned into a story that is yet to have an ending and certainly one we will tell Buddy when he’s older…
To understand this story’s significance, you need to understand that Buddy-Bear (originally called Beary but a few months he was dubbed “Buddy-Bear” by Buddy himself) has become a full-on family member. He and his identical twin (acquired by parents who feared the fallout if the original ever disappeared) were pretty high on my list of things we’d take with us in case of disaster.
It all began that fateful day with Buddy’s insistence that Buddy-Bear needed to accompany us into Home Depot. Looking back, I wish I had insisted he wait in the car…
So, the scene: Buddy is riding in the shopping cart entertaining himself by throwing Buddy-Bear to the floor for our friend to retrieve over and over and over and you get the idea. Now, also important to note are the facts that we have been working with Buddy to transition him into more age-appropriate ways of communicating (like multi-word requests) and that he is strenuously resisting those efforts and that we’ve been focusing on always following through with the consequences we tell Buddy will occur if he doesn’t comply with a request we make (typical toddler parenting, but important to this story).
So, tiring of the never-ending game of Buddy-Bear Fetch, our friend told Buddy not to throw Buddy-Bear on the floor again or she would leave him there. You see where this is going yet? Yep. Like every other two year old on the planet would, Buddy opted to “test” our friend and her resolve.
Bad choice, Buddy, bad choice.
Down Buddy-Bear went… Deciding to be kind, our friend offered to pick up Buddy-Bear one final time but explained to Buddy that first he would need to ask her to pick him up. This is where we ran into problems. You see, Buddy has been quite content pointing to things he wants and playing “toddler charades” with us until we figure out what he’s requesting. He will gladly say “please” but he resists adding any additional words. So, being told to say “Please pick up Buddy” before the bear would be retrieved didn’t sit well with him. He refused to even attempt to say an additional word other than “please” while pointing to Buddy. He refused to say “Please Buddy”; he refused “Please pick up”; he simply refused. And we refused to bend.
So, there Buddy-Bear laid, on the floor of the Home Depot aisle. And we left. Or at least that’s what Buddy thinks… In truth, I snuck back to the aisle and stuffed the bear in my purse because I couldn’t leave him behind. But Buddy didn’t know that. The tears and cries for Buddy-Bear as we pulled out of the parking lot were heart-breaking, but still Buddy refused to say any version of “please pick up Buddy”.
Now, before you start feeling too sad for Buddy, take note that this didn’t play out with tears and sadness so much as it did crossed arms and a look of absolute defiance on his little face.
Later in the day the question of how to resolve this “abandoned Buddy-Bear” situation was raised and discussed amongst the adults. We reasoned and agreed that Buddy doesn’t know the difference between one Home Depot and another and that we would give him the opportunity to remedy the situation when we were next in a Home Depot. As it turns out, that was the next day because that’s just how DIY home improvement projects seem to work out.
You should know that during the time between the Home Depot visits, Buddy requested adults to “pick up please” several times when he wanted one or the other of us to pick him up. This isn’t a question of whether he can ask for the bear to be picked up…
So, we arranged to stumble across Buddy-Bear in the Home Depot. And explained that Buddy must ask for the bear to be picked up or we would be leaving him behind again.
He refused. We pointed out other customers who may find the bear and take him home with them, Buddy yelled at passers-by “No Buddy!” and stomped his feet angrily, but he refused to ask for his bear to be picked up. And so the sad bear was abandoned once again. (And hidden in my purse for another Home Depot experience in the future.)
Buddy-Bear’s identical twin was hidden away as well…this isn’t an accident; this is a battle between a toddler’s desire to control the adults and manners. I hope that at one point in the future, Buddy will give in and ask for his bear to be picked up. But until then, keep an eye out in Home Depot…maybe you’ll run into him there!
For the month of April I will be blogging each day with a letter of the alphabet as my theme as part of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge. Today's theme letter is B!
Have you ever had to prove to your child that you meant business? Think we're being too mean? Have suggestions? I'd love to hear about it in the comment section?
