Bliss - Trekking Toward Perfect Happiness

 is for BLISS!

Do you ever think about bliss?  You know, happiness at a level that it’s off the charts.  Have you experienced it?

I’m certain I have at times in my life, and looking back on those moments with some regret, I wish I had let the bliss take over rather than repressing the true level of my emotions. Repressing my emotions is s coping skill I learned early on; I actually have no idea how early, or how I learned it, but somehow in my entire life I’ve operated with the innate knowledge that extreme emotions simply weren’t acceptable to display.  The only exception was anger; and boy did I master displaying anger in extreme ways!  But I don’t want to go down that dark road today.  Today I want to focus on BLISS!


Perfect happiness.  Great joy.  Bliss.  Those moments when the world is absolutely perfect and nothing could tarnish them.  The most readily available moment that comes to mind is the moment Little Man joined our world; watching DH instantly fall in love with him, the look on DH’s face in that moment.  I didn’t know what that moment might be like, I knew it would be joyful, but I didn’t expect it to mark my heart like it has.  I hope I never forget that instant, the moment DH and I thought might never happen for us.

The moments my older children entered the world are etched just as perfectly into my mind.  The circumstances were so different for them, I was so much younger and much more “alone” in the experience.  The logistical circumstances of their deliveries do not make those moments any less special; just more difficult to describe accurately.

The inspiration for this subject comes from a radio show I listened to this weekend, Radiolab.  The entire show was themed on Bliss; and one segment, the opening segment of the show, left me in tears.  The Radiolab hosts are interviewing Aleksander Gamme about a youtube video of him while on a solo trek to the South Pole.

In the video, which you hear explained in the  radio segment, Aleksander comes upon a stash of supplies he has left for himself three months prior; it’s his last stash of supplies and he doesn’t know what he will find.  As he discovers bits of junk food like cheese doodles, mintos and a chocolate bar Aleksander shouts out in joy; in bliss.  It’s moving to listen to and picture.  Near the end of the segment one of the hosts, Jad Abumrad, asks the question, “Have you ever been that happy in your life?”  Aleksander says, “When was the last time you were so happy you screamed out loud?”  And Jad asks, “What stands between you and that feeling?”  Cue the tears!


Why the tears?  Because I don’t know if I’ve ever been so happy I allowed myself to scream out loud.  And the realization that I am the only thing that has stood between myself and that feeling is a sad realization.  I have robbed myself countless times of joy, of bliss.  I HATE this fact.  I want to be so exuberant and free that I allow myself to feel the full spectrum of happiness.  I’ve certainly been familiar with the full spectrum of sadness and anger.  I’ve lived an imbalanced life and trying to restore the balance is a difficult task and one I find especially challenging.  Bliss is actually an uncomfortable place for me to be, simply because it’s so unfamiliar.

I don’t want to be this way forever.  So, much like Aleksander, I am mapping a course and planning my trek; I’m setting out toward self discovery and freedom to be me.  I suppose these posts are much like Aleksander’s stashes in the antarctic snow…things I’m leaving behind to refresh and revitalize me when the trek becomes weary.  I only hope that some day soon I can look back at this point in my life and see it for the turning point I’m hoping to make it.

You can listen to the Radiolab segment below!

(To skip straight to the segment, go to the 2 minute marker)

 

What is your BLISS?  When was the last time you were so happy you screamed out loud?  I’d love if you shared in the comment section below!