So Embarrassing…

Blog Every Day in May

Day 10, Friday: Most embarrassing moment (s). Spill.

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So Embarrassing…

 

I embarrass myself frequently.  Usually by saying something without thinking, but clumsiness plays a part as well.  When trying to come up with a “most” embarrassing moment, there isn’t one that shines more brightly than all the others.  So, I’ll share three embarrassing stories with you.

When I was probably 7 or 8 years old, maybe a little younger, I was talking with my babysitter (who had taken care of me since infancy and was like a mother to me) about Christmas gifts.  I was very excited to give her the gift we had gotten her because our mom had let my brother and me pick out a pretty red coat I was just sure my baby sitter would love.

So, with just a few days left before Christmas, we’re talking about what gifts I’m giving various people and I tell my babysitter, “I’m not going to tell you I got you a coat.”  Immediately, I clapped my hands over my mouth as she laughed at my slip-up.  Feeling embarrassed that I had ruined the surprise, but youthfully confidant that I hadn’t ruined everything because she didn’t know which coat, I then said “Well, I’m definitely not going to tell you it’s red.”  D’oh! 

Yep, my foot-in-mouth disease goes waaaaay back.

Remember that movie “Parenthood” from back in the ‘80s.  No?  Well, all you really need to understand is that Steve Martin played the dad of a nine-year-old Kevin and at one point in the movie shared a father-son bonding moment when the Dad asks the son, “Now, what do you say when you see a cute 9-year-old girl?” and the son replies, “Hubba, hubba.”  That “Hubba, hubba” phrase was one that became a standing code between my mom and I as I was in my teens.

So picture this:  I’m a youngish teen, maybe 14 or 15, and I’ve got a crush on one of the older teenage guys that works in our local grocery store.  My mom knows this and tortures me regularly by threatening to reveal my crush to the boy.  I’m mortified each time she threatens to out me.

And then one day, as we are walking through the grocery store, she walks right up to him and says, “Hubba, hubba”.  No person in the history of the earth has wanted to be invisible more than I did in that moment!  Thanks mom…send the money for my therapy straight to my shrink, please!

I was only 18 when I married my first husband.  Foot-in-mouth disease had never left me.  One day we were visiting the stables in a park near where we lived, letting the kids see the horses.  While we’re standing there looking at the horses, I point out one to my husband and tell him, “That’s the BIGGEST horse I’ve ever seen!”

My husband tells me to be quiet.  Thinking he’s being a complete jerk, I say it again, “Seriously, I’ve NEVER seen a horse THAT BIG!”  He tells me to shut up.  I’m getting pissed at him at this point and feel embarrassed because some other people standing near us are laughing and I think it’s because my Ex is telling me to shut up.  I’m really pissed at him and insist again, “THAT HORSE IS HUGE!”

At this point we walk away and dear old Ex decides to share with me what was really happening while I went on and on about how big the horse was.

It seems Mr. Giant Horse was taking that particular time to proudly display his “manliness”.  While I went on and on about the actual size of the steed, it appeared as though I were describing and exclaiming over the size of his “manliness”.

Hello, foot.  Meet mouth!

So, there you go.  Three embarrassing moments from my life.  If you haven’t seen the movie “Parenthood”, you definitely should!  I love that movie!

What’s your most embarrassing moment?

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