Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Young

a-to-z-letters-young

Some days, I wish I had a time machine.  I wish I could go back in time and change certain things about my life.  The scary, dark things.  The secrets I kept.  The things I believed about myself.  Some of the choices I made.  The choices that were taken away from me.

Source

Many days, I really want to change how it turned out when I decided to tell the secret and thought I would get help.

Most days, I really wish someone had asked me to tell the truth and had believed me when I did.

 Every day, I really want to understand why the cries for help were ignored.
 
If I could change the beginning of the story without changing the ending, I would really want to be able to be young without the burdens I’ve carried for as long as I can remember.
 
I know I can’t.  I know changing any small circumstance could change the entire path.  And as appealing as those big changes seem to me now, I know full well that it would mean sacrificing all that I love about my life today.  I just wish I knew how to be at peace with the past.  I wish I knew how to let go and let it float away like a helium balloon instead of allowing it to weigh me down like a lead weight.





2 comments:

  1. I am sorry you had so much to bear at a young age! But your right, it has made your the fabulous woman you are today, and I love you just the way you are! Super-fabulous! -Luvya!-G

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  2. Very nicely written...I feel the pain. Time does heal. You can't change the past, but it doesn't have to define you. Make a conscious effort to let it go. You don't forget (and frankly some things should never been forgiven)but you give up letting the past define how you live your life in the present.

    One of my favorite quotes: Success is the best revenge. Not that revenge is necessary, but success is your reward for living your best life.

    Listen to me...I spent too much time watching Oprah when I was younger.

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