America the Weak - Don't Take Away My $

"Understand what is going on right now,

because the world just changed on your watch,

and you weren’t even paying attention." 

- George Clooney

(Deadline Hollywood, Hollywood Cowardice: George Clooney Explains Why Sony Stood Alone In North Korean Cyberterror Attack)

(Source)

The US does not pay ransom.  We don't bend to terrorists.

That's what we say, right?

Except when it comes down to the wire, when lawyers and their clients get together and say, "There's a threat, it's credible, if you move forward with your plans and something bad happens you'll be held liable financially."  And we all KNOW you don't want to walk into that trap!  You can't risk your wealth like that!

And suddenly America DOES pay ransom!

Every movie theater chain that refused to carry The Interview because they would be held financially liable if TERRORISTS followed through on their threats, forced Sony to pull their film.  But it's not even the theaters' faults...it's OURS!

We've created this society where we believe every bad thing that happens to us is someone else's fault!  And if it's their fault, we should get paid for it!  WE created this litigious society.  And THAT is what has ultimately brought a major US company like Sony to it's knees and forced them to bend to the will of TERRORISTS!  Fear of financial liability.  Our own court system turned against us!

If you think that this is a one time deal, that this is the only time a DICTATOR who makes TERRORIST threats will dictate to America what can and can be done in our supposedly free society, you're dead wrong.  This is just the first time.  This is just the beginning.

I don't give a damn about one movie, but I am incredibly saddened to see this play out this way.  I'm disgusted that America is acting so weak.  I'm frightened because of the precedent this sets.  I'm disappointed that we're ultimately so self-serving that we, as a nation, bend so quickly and so easily.

Ten Minute Monday - I'm Baaaack and sharing some BIG NEWS!!

OK, it's time to get back into the groove of things.  I'm giving myself ten minutes to just write.  No major editing and no major rearranging...just ten minutes to throw out my thoughts on Monday morning.

I've been missing, again.  Two and a half months since I sat down and just wrote.  A lot has happened in that time...

First BIG, exciting news:  I'm going to be a GRANDMA!!  Baby Girl is expecting her first child, Button! Actually, her pregnancy is already half-over.  And it's part of why I disappeared again.

The first week in September, just when I was getting my act together enough again to sit down and write, I got a call at 5:30 in the morning from Baby Girl.  She was in the local emergency room and was about to go into surgery for an emergency appendectomy, while she was pregnant.  Having been through the fun experience of an appendectomy myself this past December, I believed that her recovery would be a difficult one and that she would need help just getting around afterward.  (I know I sure did.)

So, by 2pm that same day, I had loaded my car with stuff for a trip to Colorado.  I had no idea what I would find when I got there or how long I would be there.  We had left our home in January expecting to return in a matter of weeks and in the blink of an eye, almost 9 months had passed since we had been to our home.  I guess it's just how life is.

At the time, DH was in Las Vegas working, so Buddy and I drove to Las Vegas that first day.  It was a Friday afternoon and by the time I got out of Orange County it was late afternoon and there was TONS of eastbound highway traffic.  It took us an extra two hours to get there!

The next morning, Buddy and I left Vegas and DH behind and headed out for Colorado.  We got to Baby Girl's house around 9:45 that night.  Buddy was a total champ for the trip.  Baby Girl was a champ during and after her surgery and had already been released from the hospital and I probably wasn't really needed, but I was there and it was really good to see with my own two eyes that Baby Girl really was doing pretty well.  And her baby was just fine, too!

I'm really excited to be a Grandma!!  I tell you more about my trip and the new member of our family in posts soon.

What have you been up to lately?

Ten Minute Monday - Please Don't Let That Be a Train!

OK, new Monday tradition to get the week started off better, because my weeks have been missing something major (more on that in a bit).  I'm giving myself ten minutes to just write.  No major editing and no major rearranging...just ten minutes to throw out my thoughts on Monday morning.  Hopefully, I will get the ball rolling on finding something that's been missing...me.

I've been missing.  MIA - missing in action.  I was here and then it just seemed like I faded away.  It was gradual at first and then all-encompassing, like throwing a heavy dark blanket over something you want to hide.  Only, I didn't plan to hide.  I didn't plan to disappear.  I didn't want to do either.  I wanted to fight it, but I've been left with just no idea how to even start fighting it.

What I'm trying to say, what I'm dancing around is:  I've been seriously depressed.  Like, don't care what happens in the rest of the world, can't I just stay here under the covers forever and hide depressed.

Who am I?  Did I ever know?  These are questions that have been rolling around in my head for a few months now.

Was it obvious how bad things had gotten?  I don't think so...I mean, DH knew.  But I don't know if anyone else noticed.  I'm pretty good at putting on a "everything's OK" face for short bursts of time when I need to...I've been doing that for as long as I can remember.  But, to maintain a level of OK-ness?  I just couldn't do it.  Everything felt heavy and dark and empty.

I went through some of the motions.  But others just fell apart.  I did the bare minimum.  It was all I could do.

I don't even know how I managed to get myself together enough to find a Dr. and get myself there, but I credit DH with always being the "whatever I need to do to make it happen for you" guy that he is and always is, because if there had been one more obstacle I might still be sitting in the dark all alone.

It's still pretty shady where I am...but I can see a pinpoint of light that I think is the end of the tunnel.  I sure hope so, because if it's an approaching train that would really suck.

Pirate's Dinner Adventure - We Sailed the seas!!

Remember last month when I was super-excited we would be going to the Pirate's Dinner Adventure here in Buena Park, California?

Well, we went! We drank, we sang and we were merry!!

We arrived about a 1/2 hour before showtime, though I was told we could have arrived up to an hour earlier.  The first thing we did when we arrived was pose for a family souvenir photo outside before we were ushered inside and offered the opportunity to purchase flags, swords and bandannas.  We then entered the lobby/waiting/pre-show area, which had a dozen or more tables as well as benched along the walls that were all already full of families out for an evening of swashbuckling fun.

There is a gift shop available for browsing as well as two bars where you can purchase souvenir glasses filled with the most expensive pirate-themed cocktails or beers you'll ever drink (DH had a beer and I had a Mai Tai and those two drink together were a dollar or so shy of $30!)!  BUT, since we were out for an evening of fun and the tickets were free so that I could review the show and write this post, I decided it was worth the splurge.  Also, you can get drink refills for about 1/2 price, which is still expensive but at least it's not a whallop every time!

While we waited, appetizers (nothing impressive - little cocktail weiners which we didn't get to try because the grandma with all her grandkids grabbed them all before we could snatch one and soggy french fries) were passed around the crowds by waiters and waitresses in pirate-garb.

Then, the pre-show began on a small stage right behind the main bar.  The theme of the evening's show was revealed (a princess captured by a gang of pirates, each with their own "theme color") and we were directed to follow the pirate whose color was the same as our tickets into the theater once they were announced.  It was entertaining and effectively moved everyone from the crowded lobby into the theater in an organized and fun way.

The theater consists of a large stage area surrounded by water and resembling a pirate ship which the audience sits around in their assigned color sections.  The show itself includes singing, dancing, some acrobatics and lots of audience participation.  There are storms and dragons and cannons and magical gypsy spells - the story line can get a bit jumbled and confusing, but in all it's fun and entertaining.

While the show progresses, you are served a three-course meal!  First, you choose between tomato soup or tossed salad; DH and I both chose salad which was a good size and tasty, nothing spectacular, but good.  For your main course you can choose 1/2 a roast chicken or Beef Kabobs.  DH and I ordered one of each and opted for the kids' meal with chicken nuggets for Buddy.  Both the chicken and the kabobs were OK, not great but not bad, but the chicken nuggets looked like they had come out a frozen TV dinner tray and were all soggy on the bottom.  If you're going to pay for a kid's meal, I suggest getting the roast chicken because at least it's real meat!  The side dishes were OK, the mashed potatoes were actually pretty good but the vegetables tasted like they were straight of the freezer section.  The dessert course is a brownie a-la-mode with chocolate sauce; this was Buddy's favorite part of the night!

After the show, the cast sticks around for photos and to greet the kids in the audience, which was really nice.

Overall, I'd say the show was good.  We actually had a really fun time and Buddy was totally mesmerized by the whole thing.  If I had paid full price for the tickets as well as everything else, I would have been a bit irritated when I received the request for a gratuity from our server at the end of the meal (they suggest $5 per adult and $3 per child, which is much less than the minimum 15% percent tip that's usually recommended, but still I wasn't expecting that they didn't pay their servers well and felt obligated to tip a tad more than they recommended); as it was I spent over $60 and that was just for drinks and tips!  This is definitely geared more for tourists and those on vacation and is probably a bargain compared to what food and drinks in the local theme parks cost.

So, if you're looking for a fun night out with the family, check out the Pirate Dinner Adventure in Buena Park, California and be sure to plan to arrive early and spend buckage on all the extras and have a Swashbuckling GOOD time!!

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As part of this post's publication, I will receive the products mentioned above for free. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers.

The Last 30 in Photos

So, it's been a busy 30 days...seems that's the norm more now than ever.  I decided to copy an idea from a favorite blog stop, The Inklings of Life, and share photos from my phone to illustrate what we've been up to.  Now, since I usually carry a camera everywhere with me, I rarely use my camera phone.  But, I caught a snippet of the highlights anyway...

It was really HOT this month!  We had days where the thermometer in my car read 104, 102, 98...so we filled the kiddie pool and let Buddy cool off!

One day at the grocery store, my tomatoes rang up for twice what the sign in the produce department said.  When I asked the cashier to fix the price she acted like I was lying and sent a bagboy to find the sign.  He couldn't find it and she couldn't either.

I told them it was a BIG sign, they couldn't see it.  She took the tomatoes off my bill and told me if I'd walk over to the produce department with the bagboy and show him the sign she'd give me the tomatoes free.

Of course I pointed out the damn giant ass sign to the bagboy, he told her it was there, but the bitch wanted to see it for herself and told him to bring her the sign.  (She was pretty rude to start out with, but by this point I was ready to junk-punch her.) I was pretty happy when the bagboy acted a total ass carrying the sign to her register waving it in the air.

This is the sign behind the service desk after I got my free tomatoes.

On one of those hot days I had the genius idea to go to the laundromat and wash my comforter.

You DO NOT want to be in a laundromat when it is 98 degrees outside!

Daddy is tons of fun at the playground...I usually tell Buddy that Mommy's butt is too big to fit on there with him.  Daddy's the fun parent.  I can live with that.

We found this Ah-MAZ-ing playground that is like 5 different playgrounds in one, surrounding this giant castle that kids can climb on and run through.

Buddy had a teensy little meltdown when we made him leave said Castle Playground.  Poor dude.

Buddy got his own bed!  And we're all sleeping through the night (more or less) now!

Buddy likes to hang out with Daddy in his bed in the evenings and talk about life.

We tagged along with DH to a job he had to do in Las Vegas.  DH had a rental SUV and had to pack tools and ladders for his job.  If Buddy were any bigger, we'd have never fit!!

We stayed at Treasure Island.  I thought it would be a nice quiet family-oriented sort of place.  I'm not sure that exists in Las Vegas!  When we went to the pool on Friday afternoon, it was a scene straight out of MTV's Spring Break - complete with pumping DJ and cool young hotness-es hanging out all around the pool dancing, playing drinking games and just generally acting "hot" and "cool".

Buddy and I ROCKED our "too cool to leave the pool" UN-cool-ness!

We had fun swimming and splashing and he took a great nap afterward!

I'll tell you more about the fun we had in Vegas later...

Looking Beyond the Imperfections Today

Hiya friends!  How's it in your neck of the woods?  Out here in Southern California it's HOT!  Like, 90 degrees before 10am HOT.  Everyone keeps saying it's not normally this hot this early in the year; I just figure it's my fault because we're here, the weather ALWAYS seems to freak out the first year we spend anywhere.

So, Southern California, yeah.  It's OK.  It doesn't really feel like "home" to me, but it's OK.  I'm not sure anywhere feels like home anymore.  DH and I were talking about that a few weeks ago.  We're both feeling a bit homesick, but there isn't really a "home" to go to...feeling homesick for a time and feeling more than a specific place.  It's hard always feeling out of place and sort-of unsettled.

The positive for this So Cal adventure so far is learning that living without all our "stuff" we left behind in Colorado is somewhat easy.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd like to have some of the stuff I left behind with me but living without it isn't torture or misery or anything.  I can get by with a heck of a lot less than I ever imagined.

I'm missing seeing Baby Girl a lot.  I never really imagined we'd be gone this long without going back to visit.  This is the longest we've ever gone without seeing each other.  Thankfully we can chat on the phone and text whenever we want!

I miss Monkey Man, too.  He's off becoming a Soldier in the US Army - so communication with him is relegated to letters through the good ol' USPS (for the most part).  I really suck at writing letters and keeping him up to date on everything happening here.  I try to write regularly, but sometimes I just don't know what to write, ya know?  I always want him to know how proud we are of him and how much we pray for his safety and strength.

Buddy is growing up so fast!  he's learning new words on a daily basis and has transitioned into a toddler bed (finally he's in his own bed). And he's finally sleeping through the night most of the time!  If he does wake up a sip of water and putting his blanket back over him is usually all it takes to get him settled back in.

Things are changing...constantly.  For now, most of the changes seem to be positive.  I hope things continue to improve.

Talk to you again soon.

Well, the Dam Broke...

Hi there...long time, no see - again.

I quit posting here again.  Right in the middle of a blogging challenge, no less.  I hate when I set goals for myself and then fall short.  Hate.It.  That's probably why I have so few goals...

Oh well.  The truth is, I've tried to keep angry, depressing shit off of my blog.  I've accomplished this mostly by not posting here when I feel angry or depressed.  That tactic's just not working out very well for me.  I NEED to be writing and posting; even if I'm the only one who ever reads it.

To be even more truthful, a big part of why I shy away from showing that I'm fully human and get angry, frustrated, depressed, etc. is because of my past.  My family I grew up with.  They've screwed me up in the head.

I'm sure everyone's families do that to them, but I'm the only me and all I've got is my story to tell.

It may not be unique, but it's my experience.

Source

So, here's where my head is at this moment:

If you don't like me or the way I think or the thoughts I share...there's the door.  Help yourself to it!

If you find yourself judging me for who I am and what I do, please don't feel like you have to stick around.  Your negativity isn't welcome in my life. I think enough bad things about myself without adding your criticisms!

If you can only interpret my actions with a filter built in your head that casts an ugly shadow and theme across everything I do...why are you still here?  If you think I'm a piece of shit, why give a damn at all what I do?

If your answer is "we're family".  That's a bullshit reason to stick around.  Sorry.  You don't have to agree, but in my personal opinion "family" doesn't have to be the people you are genetically similar to...

And sticking beside "family" when you don't really love them enough to look beyond your preconceived notions of who they are, or beyond your belief that they are still the same person they were 10, 20, or 30 years ago is a completely pointless thing to do.  Why spend your time and energy giving a damn about someone if all you see in them is failure?

Similarly, the people you are genetically similar to don't have to be your family.

If someone treats you like shit and seems to only want to cause you pain, why have anything to do with them?  Even if you did spend decades living under the same roof.  If someone only has negative things to say about you - why have anything to do with them?  Even if they are your parent or sibling or Aunt or Uncle.  If every time you speak with someone you spend the following days wondering "what did they mean by that?" - they might not be the best person to spend your time talking to!  Regardless of who they are and what your history with them is.

So, here's a novel idea for you:  dump them!  Dump the family you were born into if they can't appreciate you for who you are.  If they seem to think it is their sole mission in life to point out all your flaws and failures in life; just walk away!  YOU.Deserve.BETTER!

Set yourself free!  Erase their words and angry voices from your memory.  Tell yourself that their perception of you isn't the truth.  Tell yourself that you are a good person.  Tell yourself you are kind.  Tell yourself you are loving.  Tell yourself you are honest.  Tell yourself you are caring.  Tell yourself you are generous.  Tell yourself that you are hard working.  Tell yourself that you are creative.  And tell yourself that you are fun! They should have been telling you those things, but just because they didn't doesn't make them untrue!

And then, once you believe all of those things about yourself, forgive them.  They're human, too, after all.  I'm not saying to forget...just to forgive.  Let go of the anger.  Holding that anger isn't good for you and it's not hurting them or effecting them in any way.  So just let it go.

That doesn't mean forget.  It doesn't mean go back and let them hurt you more.  It just means: quit carrying the anger.  That's it.

And keep on being good, kind, loving, honest, caring, generous, hard working, creative, fun YOU!

You win!

Of Moons and Mothers (An #AtoZChallenge Post)

Last night I was up late, craning my neck back to stare at the moon...

No, it wasn't some strange ritual, I was attempting to catch a glimpse (and photos) of the Blood Red Lunar Eclipse that was happening!  I'm still learning my way around photography and custom settings - as in I hardly know anything.  But that 's the beauty of the internet: just type a question or phrase into Google like "Eclipse camera settings" and you're likely to find that someone has taken the time to share their knowledge with the world (and get settings into your camera that work to photograph the eclipse)!  I didn't have my tripod, and I've read that it's a huge component to successful nighttime shots, but I'm pleased with what I captured last night, anyway.

The other thing I wanted to share with you today is this great job ad posted by Rehtom, Inc. and the video of some of the people interviewed for the job; it's great!  So, read the job requirements by HERE and then watch the video of the interviews!

Awesome, right?  Well, I enjoyed it!

One more M word for the day, since I'm really excited about it...

MOMASTERY

Yesterday I posted HERE a post that is part of the Messy Beautiful Warrior Project.  I'd love it if you'd pop over and read it; it's not often I really take down all the walls and just "put it out there" and I'm pretty happy with how the post turned out.

Also, read more Messy Beautiful essays (and maybe think about joining the project) by clicking HERE!

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For the month of April I am blogging each day with a letter of the alphabet as my theme as part of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge.  Today's theme letter is M!

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Did you see the eclipse last night?  Do you have the #WorldsToughestJob?  Know someone who does?  What do you think?

Lies I Believed About Myself – My Messy Beautiful

I had a tumultuous, sometimes scary, sometimes happy, but often very sad childhood.

Things happened that broke myself and the people around me so devastatingly, that normal wasn’t possible.  Barely getting by was a frequent state in our family.  It was the only thing I knew, though, and it framed who I became in my own mind.

During the hard times and the darkest of my memories, and as a result of the things that happened, and things that were said, I formed horrible, heart-breaking beliefs about who and how I was.  They were as true and real to me as if they were etched into my skin for all to see. Their actual invisibility couldn’t shield my soul from being marred and changed or protect me from their permanent impact on how I see myself.  I wore those labels and beliefs like a heavy weight for most of my years.  I was never, in my understanding, free to become someone without those labels, to leave them behind.  I was them and they were me.

To keep people far enough away from me that they couldn’t see all that was etched on me, and especially so they couldn’t add more, I carried a shield of anger with me always.  I used it often.  Few made it behind the shield.  It’s hard to be loved when everyone is held at bay.  And the more I felt unloved, the more I believed the labels were true:  I was unlovable.

But the labels were lies.  Lies I believed about myself!  Some of them so painful to hear and believe that, even still, I cannot bring myself to write them here.

Over the last few years I’ve been working on sanding down the surfaces to blend those hard-etched words in…chiseling them away one painful memory at a time.  Replacing them with truths. It’s hard, hard work. Taking out one painful scene and experience at a time to examine with my now-grown eyes and heart and finding the truth in it.  It’s not always a voluntary process; painful memories and realizations spring out at me and catch me unaware and unprepared often lately.

Most often I see that those words are not me.  I am not them.

I am a good person.

Kind. Loving. Honest. Caring. Generous. Hard working. Smart. Creative. Fun!

(Some days I even believe that!)

I would have liked to have gotten to this point sooner, but I’ve never been the person I am today before…

And I suppose, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

I thank God that I can walk lighter now and have hope that some day soon the only labels etched in me will have been put there carefully and lovingly and that I will see myself as I truly am…

…a Messy, Beautiful Warrior!

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This essay and I are part of the Messy, Beautiful Warrior Project — To learn more and join us, CLICK HERE! And to learn about the New York Times Bestselling Memoir Carry On Warrior: The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life, just released in paperback, CLICK HERE!

And now, a musical interlude... (H, I, J, K an #AtoZChallenge Post)

And now, a musical interlude...

I'm behind in blogging for the Blogging from A to Z Challenge, because real life has to take priority some days.  AND I still need to get our taxes done and filed!  So to give myself a few days to get organized, I'm cheating!  This post will include the letter H, I, J and K - in song titles!!

My musical taste varies with my moods - so it changes dramatically and often!  Here are four songs I'm listening to lately, when the right mood strikes me!

What are you listening to lately?

Gifts

My windows were rolled down on a cool and sunny day as I pulled to a stoplight.

She was standing on the corner, leaning heavily on her cane with one hand and in her other she held a cardboard sign that said HOMELESS in bold letters and explained below it that her Gift from God was singing and that she hoped it would be a blessing to us.

She was singing Don McLean's "American Pie".

I had an overwhelming urge that, in that moment, I trusted.

And while my sunglasses hid my tears, I prayed that she would be blessed with the little I had to offer as well.  And that we should all find our Gifts...

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For the month of April I will be blogging each day with a letter of the alphabet as my theme as part of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge.  Today's theme letter is G!

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What is your gift?

Forty?

In 39 days I turn forty.  How on earth is that even possible?  I’m pretty sure I was just 20-something yesterday and then I blinked…

I haven’t entirely come to grips with this whole officially-middle-aged thing yet.  I was talking to my daughter on the phone the other day and she says I shouldn't freak out this year because I did it last year when I turned 39…funny thing is – I don’t remember freaking out.  Is that my age already rearing it’s ugly head?  Or perhaps I've blocked it out for self-preservation…

Regardless, it’s going to happen.  There’s nothing I can do to stop it.  I’ll officially, officially be a grown up.  Now what?

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For the month of April I will be blogging each day with a letter of the alphabet as my theme as part of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge.  Today's theme letter is F!

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Do you have any advice on turning 40?  Are you just laughing at me?

Eggs

Even though we’ve moved to a suburban area, we still have a few chickens!  It’s hilarious to me to have chickens in a backyard in a full-fledged neighborhood, but it’s allowed here and in many other suburban areas throughout the country. 

The chickens are curious about what goes on in here!

Backyard chicken flocks are a positive side effect of the health foods and organic foods trend – as people became more concerned with what they were putting into their bodies, they realized that one way to ensure that they were getting what they wanted was to grow it themselves.  Thus, a boom in container gardening and backyard flocks in the US!

My desire for a flock is more about a longing for the days of my youth spent caring for farm animals and crops.  Also, I’m interested in self-sufficiency.  And I just enjoy the chickens!  They have character, they’re entertaining!  “Chicken people” get it; the rest of you just don’t know what you’re missing out on!

That tiny little egg means one of our hens has finally started laying again!

The best part of a small backyard flock, though, are the fresh eggs!

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For the month of April I will be blogging each day with a letter of the alphabet as my theme as part of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge.  Today's theme letter is E!

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What do you think of chickens in the suburbs?

Dandelions – Weeds or Carriers of Wishes? (An #AtoZChallenge Post)

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a fondness for dandelions.

Perhaps it’s because it was one of the few flowers I was freely allowed to pick as a child.

Perhaps it’s because they magically turned into white fluff that was excellent for carrying my wishes away to be granted.

Regardless of the reason, they’ve always been a favorite rather than a nuisance and I’ve never owned a lawn that I wished to rid of their gold flowers or fluffy white remains.

Even still, as I stare down the slope toward my fortieth year, you may find me whispering a wish to a fluffy dandelion before giving it my very best…

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For the month of April I will be blogging each day with a letter of the alphabet as my theme as part of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge.  Today's theme letter is D!

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So, how do you see dandelions? As weeds or carriers of wishes?

Cell Phones (An #AtoZChallenge Post)

Yesterday morning I ran out to the local grocery store to pick up some bagels for breakfast.  As I was leaving the grocery store I realized that I hadn't picked up my cell phone and put it in my purse before I left the house.  I felt terrible!  What if DH had tried to reach me to pick up something he thought of while I was at the store?  What if there was an emergency and they needed to reach me? I had been incommunicado for an entire 20 minutes!

Life wasn't always this way.  We weren't always wired to each other; in constant communication.  In fact, for more than the first half of my life I often took long road trips with the full knowledge that if something went wrong I would be at the mercy of *gasp* strangers who stopped to help and would need to get to a payphone in order to call someone I knew.  As a young, single mother I often travelled the 6+ hours between my home in South Carolina and my parent’s home in West Virginia with little more than some snacks for the road, music to listen to and gas money!

And now I worry what might have happened in the twenty minutes it took me to drive a mile and half, pick out bagels, pay for them and then drive home!

In the spring of 1999 I was 25 years old and dating DH; Baby Girl was in 1st grade and Monkey Man hadn't even started school yet.  Most days were spent helping DH with his auto repair business; Monkey Man and I would spend our days there until we drove across town to pick up Baby Girl from school.  One day DH took Monkey Man with him to test drive a vehicle without telling me – it happened to be right about the time I had to leave to pick up Baby Girl from school.  I left not knowing if Monkey Man was with DH or lost in the woods somewhere behind the business – the whole drive across town and back I prayed that Monkey Man was OK and with DH.  It was terrifying!  DH had a cell phone, but I didn't.  At that time they really were more of a luxury item and something DH had only as a business owner.

Cell phones from the early days...
My first phone was the third one from the left!
Source: Wikipedia

When I got back, Monkey Man was just fine, of course.  But that incident changed my life forever.  Because of it, DH bought me my first cell phone.  These were the days before unlimited everything, before text messaging, before smart phones!  Heck, we still got on the internet with a dial-up connection through AOL that we paid for by the hour!  I was one of the first of my friends to have a cell phone – and I've had one ever since.  Now, my cell phone is the only phone I have!  And I can get messages through calls, email, text and internet connection!

Cell phones have changed my life and our world in ways I’d never imagined possible back in 1999 (and that really wasn't all that long ago). Heck, when I had to pick ten things to take with me if I had to leave my home forever, my phone was #5 on the list!

I can only imagine the technology that will come into use in the rest of my life!  It’s somewhat mind-boggling…

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For the month of April I will be blogging each day with a letter of the alphabet as my theme as part of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge.  Today's theme letter is C!

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What technology has become common in your lifetime that still amazes you?

Buddy-Bear and the Home Depot (An #AtoZChallenge Post)

Two weekends ago we were visiting friends at their home in a nearby state and happened to go to Home Depot for supplies for the projects the men were working on.  The supply run has turned into a story that is yet to have an ending and certainly one we will tell Buddy when he’s older…

To understand this story’s significance, you need to understand that Buddy-Bear (originally called Beary but a few months he was dubbed “Buddy-Bear” by Buddy himself) has become a full-on family member.  He and his identical twin (acquired by parents who feared the fallout if the original ever disappeared) were pretty high on my list of things we’d take with us in case of disaster.

It all began that fateful day with Buddy’s insistence that Buddy-Bear needed to accompany us into Home Depot.  Looking back, I wish I had insisted he wait in the car…

So, the scene:  Buddy is riding in the shopping cart entertaining himself by throwing Buddy-Bear to the floor for our friend to retrieve over and over and over and you get the idea.  Now, also important to note are the facts that we have been working with Buddy to transition him into more age-appropriate ways of communicating (like multi-word requests) and that he is strenuously resisting those efforts and that  we’ve been focusing on always following through with the consequences we tell Buddy will occur if he doesn’t comply with a request we make (typical toddler parenting, but important to this story).

So, tiring of the never-ending game of Buddy-Bear Fetch, our friend told Buddy not to throw Buddy-Bear on the floor again or she would leave him there.  You see where this is going yet?  Yep.  Like every other two year old on the planet would, Buddy opted to “test” our friend and her resolve.

Bad choice, Buddy, bad choice.

Down Buddy-Bear went…  Deciding to be kind, our friend offered to pick up Buddy-Bear one final time but explained to Buddy that first he would need to ask her to pick him up.  This is where we ran into problems.  You see, Buddy has been quite content pointing to things he wants and playing “toddler charades” with us until we figure out what he’s requesting.  He will gladly say “please” but he resists adding any additional words.  So, being told to say “Please pick up Buddy” before the bear would be retrieved didn’t sit well with him.  He refused to even attempt to say an additional word other than “please” while pointing to Buddy.  He refused to say “Please Buddy”; he refused “Please pick up”; he simply refused.  And we refused to bend.

So, there Buddy-Bear laid, on the floor of the Home Depot aisle.  And we left. Or at least that’s what Buddy thinks… In truth, I snuck back to the aisle and stuffed the bear in my purse because I couldn’t leave him behind.  But Buddy didn’t know that.  The tears and cries for Buddy-Bear as we pulled out of the parking lot were heart-breaking, but still Buddy refused to say any version of “please pick up Buddy”.

Now, before you start feeling too sad for Buddy, take note that this didn’t play out with tears and sadness so much as it did crossed arms and a look of absolute defiance on his little face.

Later in the day the question of how to resolve this “abandoned Buddy-Bear” situation was raised and discussed amongst the adults.  We reasoned and agreed that Buddy doesn’t know the difference between one Home Depot and another and that we would give him the opportunity to remedy the situation when we were next in a Home Depot.  As it turns out, that was the next day because that’s just how DIY home improvement projects seem to work out.

You should know that during the time between the Home Depot visits, Buddy requested adults to “pick up please” several times when he wanted one or the other of us to pick him up.  This isn’t a question of whether he can ask for the bear to be picked up…

So, we arranged to stumble across Buddy-Bear in the Home Depot.  And explained that Buddy must ask for the bear to be picked up or we would be leaving him behind again.

He refused.  We pointed out other customers who may find the bear and take him home with them, Buddy yelled at passers-by “No Buddy!” and stomped his feet angrily, but he refused to ask for his bear to be picked up.  And so the sad bear was abandoned once again. (And hidden in my purse for another Home Depot experience in the future.)

Buddy-Bear’s identical twin was hidden away as well…this isn’t an accident; this is a battle between a toddler’s desire to control the adults and manners.  I hope that at one point in the future, Buddy will give in and ask for his bear to be picked up.  But until then, keep an eye out in Home Depot…maybe you’ll run into him there!

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For the month of April I will be blogging each day with a letter of the alphabet as my theme as part of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge.  Today's theme letter is B!

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Have you ever had to prove to your child that you meant business?  Think we're being too mean?  Have suggestions?  I'd love to hear about it in the comment section?

Army -- (an #AtoZChallenge Post)

Welcome to the Blogging from A to Z Challenge!  For the month of April I will be attempting to blog each day, excluding Sundays, with a letter of the alphabet as my theme. 

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rmy.  My oldest son made the choice to join the US Army.  He is currently training at Ft. Benning, Georgia to become a Cavalryman; the training is not easy.



While he’s been away training our main form of communication has been letters through the US Postal Service.  It takes around a week for our letters to reach each other and they usually cross paths on their trip.  It’s certainly not the best way to communicate when you, as a mother, want to know everything that’s going on with your child.  Especially when the communication relies on a 20-year-old who has grown up in a world where his home always had a computer and email to pick up a pen and tell his mother what’s going on with him!

Letters from my son are treasured.

His letters are few and far between.  I try to make mine more regular so that he never forgets that he is loved and supported in his goals.  I do cheat a little by typing his letters and adding photos of things that we’re doing – but this “cheat” allows me to tell him more of what’s happening here and show him as well.

My son, early in the morning as we were
headed to the Airport after the Holiday break.

Because my son started training at the end of the year and has struggled with health issues while there, his “16 weeks of intensive training designed to make him a versatile warrior” has taken longer than expected.  Originally he would have been graduating this week, but will be in training until mid-June if all proceeds as expected.  If his health issues continue, it may be longer still.  I know he wants to complete this phase of training and move on to his Army career and that these setbacks must be hard for him; I pray they make his resolve stronger and his training set in his mind more firmly than might otherwise have been the case.

As a Mom of an Army Soldier, praying and writing letters is about all I can do – the rest is up to my son, his Leaders and his fellow Soldiers.  I pray they all stay safe and make good decisions.